Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
