does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
