If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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