the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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