Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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