You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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