It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
