he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
