i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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