Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize