Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
