we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
