i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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