dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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