Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
