this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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