Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
