Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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