Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
