You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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