my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize