so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
