i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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