my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i now understand why vodka
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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