JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
