11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
