windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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