He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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