shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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