sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
