we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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