if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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