I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
