hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I AM VODKA MAN
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
