sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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