That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize