I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
