its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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