And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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