It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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