It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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