clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You are a genius and a whore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize