i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
