In the future we'll all be gay
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize