He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize