Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
