what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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