I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
two words...techno handjob
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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