and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
