don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I need water and some morals
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