theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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