Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
