Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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