guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
only if we run a train.
done.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
