White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
