dude i'm inner monologue high
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
