I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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