I love black thongs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
