dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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