We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
