I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He felt like a one man threesome
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We have so much sex to catch up on
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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