he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
