apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
