Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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