I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just want nice things and good sex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
