my sisters under your porch take her home
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
