I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
