I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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