the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
