after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
